Compassion is the Antidote to Judgment!

There is so much disrespect flying around and judgment of all kinds. I don’t know about you, but one of my highest priorities is that my kids become respectful adults when they are grown. Rather than jumping on a bandwagon, howling at the news or your friends expressing displeasure about our country or the happenings in our world, be sure you are being an example of respectful behavior.  There will always be strife in politics and over the years we won’t agree with things we see or hear, at times. Be a model citizen for your kids and show respect for differing opinions and tolerance for those who are different from us. The ultimate antidote to judgment is COMPASSION! Teach it and model it daily!

Wishing you balance,

Bette Levy Alkazian, LMFT
Balanced Parenting

from a post on MOMIPEDIA on Facebook 11-16-16

The Bridge to Connectedness…

I love when a theme emerges with my clients and this month’s theme has been about feeling “safe” in relationships. When we use respect with each other and truly cherish our partners’ and our kids’ strengths AND weaknesses, we make them feel SAFE with us. They feel able to be honest, able to be vulnerable without fear and able to open their hearts and share with us; this is what leads to true connectedness and intimacy in relationships.  This is what we all crave and yearn for from those we love. Look inward at how you might make your partner or kids feel “unsafe” with you and work to hold your tongue when criticism or harshness comes. Your compassion and unconditional love are your greatest bridges to true connectedness.

Wishing you balance,

Bette Levy Alkazian, LMFT, BCPC

from MOMIPEDIA on Facebook 7-27-16

The Importance of Honoring Your Child’s Defiance (within Reason!)

On March 25, 1965, Martin Luther King, Jr. led 25,000 marchers to the state capitol in Alabama to protest the denial of voting rights for black people. For many of those marching, that day may have been the first time they stood up for themselves and used their voices and the first time anyone said to them, “You’re worthy of better”. There was great strength, confidence and hope that day.

I get a lot of calls from parents asking me:

“Why is my child so defiant?”

“Why does he fight me on everything?”

As parents, it is our job to teach kids where the limits are, but not to squash their ability to test those limits. That’s their spark, the fire in their belly and the life force of who they are. Strong-willed kids are harder to raise, but aren’t they better equipped for some aspects of adulthood? They already possess an inner strength that many people only wish they had!

“I do not agree with what you have to say, but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it.” Voltaire

How do we honor our children’s protests?