Hard conversations suck! It may be telling someone we don’t like what they’re doing, telling family we can’t make it for Thanksgiving, even simply telling our kids “No”. It may be related to our jobs – asking for a raise or setting a boundary with a co-worker. Talking to our kids about drugs, sex, college, mean friends, and even death. Life is filled with hard conversations.

It seems as though the hard conversations are the most important ones. They’re hard because they matter. They’re hard because they involve deep feelings. They’re hard because there is a lot on the line.

No one wants to hurt someone’s feelings nor do we want to make someone mad at us, but those are by-products of healthy communication. You may not like what I have to say, but it’s still important for me to say it. We will get through the feelings.

How does your family handle the subject of death or illness? Is it something that’s never mentioned for fear of inviting it in? Is it spoken about openly and frequently?

There is actually a concept of a “good death”. A good death not only is painless and peaceful, but it also includes having lots of hard conversations. Talking about wishes for belongings, funerals, end-of-life care, apologies and long-unexpressed feelings, etc… A big piece of what makes a death “good” or “bad” is the amount and quality of communication.

I think the same is true for any and all relationships. What makes it healthy or not is the amount and quality of the communication.

So, keep those conversations going. Don’t shy away from the hard ones. Be brave. Be persistent.