March 2022

What’s your “Bruno”? 

So many people have that “thing” that they just don’t talk about. That thing that brings shame. That thing that the family never mentions or the secret that no one or not everyone in the family knows.  It could be an earth-shattering, life-altering subject or it could just be a smaller thing that feels too big to share or too embarrassing to mention. 

As a therapist, I’ve worked with many families around secrets that they feel they should have known or should have known sooner.  The sense of betrayal that people feel from secrets is very damaging to relationships and to families. Sometimes, learning of the secret is what does the damage! It’s a fine line to travel.

You’ve heard the phrase “the truth will set you free”. It’s actually true, for the most part. As a parenting specialist, I get a lot of calls about how to talk to their kids about illness, sexuality, death, suicide, divorce, addiction, adoption and so many other topics.  I always recommend telling kids the truth to the degree that they can developmentally handle it.  Sometimes the details are too much for little ones, but as they grow, they need to know more about the situation and not be left in the dark, only to find out accidentally later and feel angry, betrayed, lied to, etc…

So, what’s your “Bruno”? What should you be talking about more often to set you free or to ensure that others feel honoredor seen? Are you open for your nearest and dearest people to share their secrets with you? Are you a safe place to land? Do you have a safe place to land? 

Bette