As I sat down to write this newsletter, I had a wave of grief come over me. I’m not sure what triggered it. Maybe the “Stay Home” commercial on TV or maybe the fact that I just ordered my favorite potato chips online instead of going to my favorite market to buy them, reminding me how different life is right now. (No potato chip shaming! We all have to do what we have to do to get through this!)
The tears are just flowing…logically, I get why we are home. I am even feeling some anxiety about things opening up too soon. I don’t want to be afraid of people, not knowing where they’ve been or who they have been with. I want to feel safe again. I want my life back! Waaaaa…
This wave of grief will pass and I’ll get back to my quarantine life: working, cleaning (my anxiety behavior), enjoying time with my family and waving to my neighbors as they walk their dogs past my windows.
There have been many lessons, so far, in this age of COVID-19 for me. I am learning to sit in the discomfort. I am learning to tolerate uncertainty better than I used to (still working on this one!) I appreciate things I used to take for granted and I cherish the time with my family. We are doing some things we haven’t done for years or ever! We are connecting with extended family more often on Zoom and FaceTime than we did before the quarantine and I am so grateful for that. There have been some blessings among the fear, uncertainty and loss. I suppose this is what we have to accept. There IS fear, uncertainty and loss and there are also moments of laughter, gratitude and beauty. (Have you heard the birds or seen the poppies?)
We are all in this together and alone. If you need anything from me or I can support you in any ways, don’t hesitate to reach out.
With love and gratitude for my tribe,
Bette
