| Happy May, my friends! Is it just me or is this year flying by??? Ok, we need to talk about something really important. Values! This whole college cheating scandal thing has me all tied up in knots…for so many reasons. I’m so sad to see the lengths to which parents would go to make their kids “happy”. How happy are they now??? What kind of role models are they? What are they teaching their children? That it’s ok to lie, cheat, steal, break the law…to get what you want??? Am I the only one who is absolutely lit up about this? Making our kids happy at any cost is ridiculous. It’s not our job to make our kids happy. It’s our job to help our kids cope with NOT getting into the college they hoped for. How else will kids learn to take responsibility for not doing whatever it took to make it happen for themselves? Our kids must understand consequences of their choices – both good and bad! Our kids need to be able to cope with hurt and disappointment. That pain is what teaches them the most. Pain is also an incredible motivator. How else will our kids learn how to be adults in this world? Here are a few tips to ensure you raise amazing adults:Don’t be afraid of your kids being unhappy. It’s part of life. Instead, teach them how to be healthy when they are unhappy and how to express it appropriately.Don’t let your own fears and anxieties control how you parent. Try to keep your stuff out of the way and keep your values in the forefront when making decisions.Help your kids develop grit – passion, perseverance, sticktuitiveness, pushing through the hard stuff… This makes them stronger and more capable and gives them faith that they can get through anything.Keep in mind that whether or not your kids are happy is no reflection on whether or not you are a good parent. Some people are naturally unhappy. Let’s teach our kids how to be good people and to find their purpose in this life so that they have a life of meaning. That’s how they will make themselves happy! Enjoy this gorgeous spring and remember, being happy isn’t everything, it’s the bonus by-product of the hard things!!! With love, Bette |
May 2019
